These 2am scribbles are the realist.
I try to fill up the void with clothes, shoes, makeup, products, drinks, junk, food, a new "good" selfie, enough views, "enough" likes, the approval of others, a "fitspo" body, records, decor, a gallery of acquaintances, books, objects, experiences, attention from guys, THINGS.
The Spirit is showing me... Reminding me, yet again... None of these things will ever be enough.
One more glass of wine will never fill me up. One more Instagram "like" won't bring me any kind of peace. A prescription won't fix my problems. I can spend my entire life compulsively and anxiously going after these things, but they will never, ever quench me. The things of this world are temporary. I don't want the course of my life to be CONSUMED with grasping for vanishing vapors in the air.
All I want is the be consumed with the Spirit of the Lord. All I want is a revival, a renewing of the mind, a newfound sense of peace. I want the relentless love of God to completely and overwhelmingly consume me until every void, every fleeting desire, every quest for a temporary fix leaves me.